Growth

Newborn, 

Raw and greedy,

The love I bore into your world.

Caught in soft blankets,

Carried in your strong arms,

It stands and laughs with sparkling eyes,

Wanting to give a dandelion.

My husband

His kiss on the shoreline of my hair is a sacrament.

A moment of sacred meditation that purifies my heart.

I bring my heart to him, like a wounded puppy seeks her boy.

Blindly we find healing in the presence of our love.

I want to bring him beautiful things, sweeter than my bitter thoughts.

He insists on discovering my burdens and adding them to his yoke.

The anxious ghost of my disappearing never haunts him.

He is overrun by the tiny mice of my wants and needs.

He is my Darnay, Darcy, Leopold, “Hey Girl” Guy of my dreams.

I should be his Lucy, Lizzie, Kate, a perfect woman trial-forged.

When I look at myself in the mirror I see a sea of pebbles.

When I look at myself in his eyes I find my precious gems.

I will never fully understand why my God-heir chose this mortal.

But I can worship him with my body and offer ambrosia in Tupperware lunches.

Hold him close

With gentleness you take his hand.
With kindness you enfold him
You fill his eyes with joy and love
As prayerfully you hold him.

And as the evening steals the light
You sing a song to tame the night.
Hold him close, oh God above!
Let him sleep safe in my love!!

With worrying you set him free.
With hoping you let go him.
You stoke his fire and then he’s off;
Your hidden fears don’t slow him.

But when the evening comes again
He’s yours to tend and mother-hen.
Hold him close, but just tonight.
Let him go again at light.

These little hands won’t always cling so tight.
There’ll come a time when he won’t be yours every night.
And he’ll be strong, and he’ll be brave,
He’ll say goodbye with a smile and wave.
My baby boy.
My pride and joy.
Please be alright.

Pass on the Pain

Kids today got no respect
It's 'cause the parents all neglect
To whup them like they're supposed to do
I was whupped when I was young
I was told to mind my tongue
And it's what I intend to do to you
If you don't pass on the pain
Tell me, what will you gain?

His mother looks into his eyes
She knows that he's been telling lies
She wonders why he's scared to tell the truth
All while he is thinking back
To a vase he didn't mean to crack
And a pool of glue when he was just a youth
Tell me, what do you gain
When you pass along the pain?

She calls her Mama once a week
Just because it's nice to speak
She's strong, she's happy, this is very plain.
She's got a man who's good to her
In every single deed and word
She tells her parents thank you yet again.
I'll tell you what you gain
When you don't pass on the pain.
Don't pass on the pain.

When in the Heavenly Realms I'm crowned thy Queen,
Enthroned forever at thy perfect side
Thy kiss shall be circlet enough I ween,
My royal scepter thy fingers entwined!

POAS

A wish and a prayer,
Wond'ring if you are there.
Hoping, my child,
Is this hope far too wild?
Am I ready for this?
Oh! How I long to kiss
Your cheeks and your nose,
Count all of your toes,
And yet I'm so scared!
I don't think I'm prepared
For something so small,
So fragile, so all
Consuming! And yet
Though we've never met,
And I'm not sure you exist,
I just can't resist
Loving you!

Growing.

Here's a blanket to keep you warm.
I'm your mother, I'll keep you safe from harm.
Oh baby boy! Cry your tears.
Let them wash away all your fears.
Mother hears.
Mother's here.
Always near.

Here's a bandaid. Show me the place.
Rest awhile within my arms embrace.
Then, son of mine, dry your eyes!
Keep on chasing those sunny skies.
How time flies!
While my prize
Learns to fly.

Chrysalis

You flutter and bump,
A lost bird inside me.
My skin moves for you, with you.
You have such power!
To make me love you,
Want you,
Carry you,
Every second of the day.
My worries are of you,
My joys are of you,
My life is become you,
Strong, fragile thing.

Grumpa

I don't think you knew I called you that in my head.
I was never quite brave enough to say it to your face,
But somehow I kind of think you would have liked it.
I miss you.
I'm sad that your great-grandson won't get to meet you,
I'm sad that I won't get to sit and listen to your stories again.
At least, not here in this life.

While you're at work

I miss you when you're gone.
The house is always so still.
I'll be glad when the baby comes,
These quiet hours to fill.
I miss you when you're gone.
My thoughts are away with you,
Waiting for your key in the lock,
Your home-again face in view.
I miss you when you're gone.
Your touch, your smile, your hair.
I ache for your arms around me
When the missing's hard to bear.
I miss you when you're gone.
I wonder what you are at.
I try to imagine your day,
I don't know enough for that.
I miss you when you're gone.
Your day's not twined with mine now
So inseperably like it was
In the weeks and months ago.
I miss you when you're gone.
But that only makes the time
You're here with me that much sweeter
Your bright presence more sublime.

Little L

I nestle close to your father,
He lays his hand where you sleep,
I feel you wake and begin to move
Within your cradle deep.
I see your movements across my skin,
Feel your stretches, rolls, and jerks.
I've yet to meet you little one,
But how I love your quirks!!

My totally amazing excuse.

Okay, so, I have a really good excuse for not writing every day in May. TWO really good excuses actually. The first one, I got fired from my job. (never been fired before, that was interesting....) So I was busy figuring that out. Also, unbeknownst to me, I'd started growing a little baby inside of me! My husband and I are thrilled. :-) So now that everything's settling down, (well, everything but my stomach.....) I'm back and better than ever!

Ho Hum Drum
Twiddly Dum
I've got time
You have none.

I'm writing this by cell-phone light
While my husband sleeps
His arm is around me, and the night
Silence is filled with beeps
As I keep the light going.

From upstairs a melody
As I talk with Him,
Seems as tongues of angels
Singing far and dim.

My husband's leatherman multi-tool
Is a spaceship from Uklor.
He told me so.

Hello beautiful tomato!
I bought you at the farmer's market.
You will taste good later,
On a sandwich or something.
But I am full right now
And content to just admire.

With quirky grin of askance
You watch me write this poem
Hoping I am done soon
So we can go to bed.

I pull my blankets o'er my head
In apprehension's chilling dread
Of the monster under my bed.

My Victorious One

When fleeting doubts,
By shadows sown,
Creep into my mind,
I pull a tome
of memory
from among its kind.
It's cover's worn,
Or it would be,
If it had a form.
Just let us say
'Tis often drawn
To feed Soul, and warm.
In the pages
I see your face,
Your form, your green eyes.
I hear your voice,
'Most feel your touch,
Your breath as it flies.
I hear you say
With confidence,
"It'll all turn out!"
And in my mind
You, conquering,
Vanquish all my doubt.