Tuesday, September 29, 2009

To Rae

Dear Rae,

I've figured you out. Our relationship can be better now, because I know what you are. You are the part of me that pushes me to be better, the part of me that doesn't accept failure, the part of me that wants me to succeed. In the past, I've allowed you to take over my mind. I've given you more power than I should have, and that has hurt me. You are critical. You focus in on my faults and I feel unworthy, unloved, unhappy, because I gave you that power.

Rae, I know now how to deal with you. I know that you can be a gentle, guiding force in my life, helping me to make decisions, motivate myself, and become the best person I can be. First we have to set some ground rules. No more focusing on my faults. As soon as your criticisms start tearing down my sense of self, I will shut you out. That's not to say you can't help me see where I might improve, but you must do it gently and quickly. No nagging. Also, when I come with an idea, let's look at it more positively. Instead of immediately telling me how I could fail, let's explore it with the goal of finding out whether it will make me happy, and if it will, how to make it happen.

I look forward to these changes. I look forward to making this a fruitful relationship, and becoming good friends. I am sure that you keen sense of right and wrong and your belief that I can be good at things will be good for me. Thank you. And from now on, you will no longer be Rae, the Root of All Evil, but Ray, the guiding light.

Love, Juliet.

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