Mutterings of a confirmed kitchen experimenter

Saw my new shiny red
stand mixer.
Waiting.
Beckoning.
Went into the kitchen
To make something sweet.
Didn't know what,
but it had to be sweet.
Looked through the fridge,
Looked through the cupboards.
Found no inspiration.
Spied the fruit bowl.
Half a dozen apples getting wrinkly.
PIE!!!!!!!!
Pulled my tattered,
Bestained and besmirched
Nineteen-forties cookbook
from it's hallowed place.
Began making crust.
New tools, unsure.
It's tough.
Stick it in the fridge to rest while paring apples.
Paring apples.
Paring apples.
Paring apples.
STILL paring apples.
Slice them paper thin,
So they'll gather all that saucy goodness.
Pull crust out of fridge.
Won't roll out.
Back in the mixer,
Add more shortning.
Better.
Line the pie plate thouroughly.
Pinch the crust beautifully.
Fill it with apples.
Not enough crust for the top...
Streusel top!!!
Better not add the spices yet.
Out of oatmeal.
Brown sugar hard as a rock.
Stick it in the microwave.
Still hard as a rock.
Stick it in with butter!
Mmmmmmm carmel.
Still hard as a rock.
Hmmmmmm carmel.
Sweetened condensed milk,
Carmelized with butter and brown sugar.........
Carmel apple pie sounds good.
In a saucpan with you.
Stirring constantly.
Those stubborn brown sugar lumps aren't doing a thing!
Pour it into the mixer with leftover crust.
Turn into a fascimile of the prehistoric soup.
Pull out biggish sugar lumps.
To lazy for small ones.
Glop uncerimoniously over the top
Of paper thin apples.
Put n the oven til top is crunchy and brown.
It's so good, have to invite friends to help eat it
Before stomach ache can happen.