Sooty glass

Sinking into the darkening gloom,
Grasping for a ray of hope.
Fleeing away from impending doom.
Anything to help me cope

I feel myself being bogged down into my depression. It snatches at little pieces of me, slowly mastering me until I'm helpless. I throw all of the coping mechanisms I know in it's face, cheerfulness, happy thoughts, doing things, work, excersize, friendships, being outside, gardening. I am spending more and more of my time staring at the wall, reading worthless books I've already read, avoiding doing things I'm supposed to do. When I eat, I eat to much and badly. I stay in bed til one, waking up occasionally to check the time. (unless I have to work. I can get out of bed for that). I try to talk to people, but I stumble over myself. My brilliance is dimmed under the sooty glass I see through. I am bright, the world is bright. I know it is so, but that sooty glass keeps me from it, and it from me. Oh well. I chip away piece at a time and I will be good. Someday.